Draft Thesis Statement

In the following post, I present my two thesis statements, following the "Craft Box" process in the Student's Guide textbook. Additionally, here is a link to my article.

Lin, Jonathan. "The Thesis Prayer" 4/10/2010 via flickr. Attribution Share-Alike 2.0 Generic License.

Creating a Rhetorical Analysis Thesis Statement

1. Pertinent Information

rhetorical situation

     author -VP for Bioethics and Medical Sciences for Doctors Opposing Circumcisions --> emphatically invested in the topic, experienced

     context - circumcision remains a popular practice today, despite modern science which has a lot of evidence against it

     audience - Of the text: those still considering circumcision a viable option (religious practice) -- My audience: students in my field

rhetorical strategies

     word choice, reference to credible sources, counterarguments & refutation, statistics, organization/transitions, arrangement of text, tone

2. The above underlined words are what I will focus on in my essay. 

Thesis Statement #1

As a medically and religiously encouraged practice, author George Hill argues that society's blind approval of the tradition of circumcision has been the result of a dangerous misconstruction of medical facts. He emphasizes the ignorance in the public opinion through precisely placed sarcasm and an overall condescending tone. Though Hill appears credible in his vast knowledge of the debate, he critically impairs his argument by speaking so disparagingly to his audience. 

Thesis Statement #2

In his remonstrance of the modern practice of circumcision, George Hill uses a sarcastic and degrading writing style to question both the medical professionals' and parents' acceptance and open approval of the process. In his blunt description and protestation against the procedure, he infuses a sense of urgency concerning the age-old procedure; however, in doing so, he diminishes his credibility, appearing more anarchic than doctorly. 

I attempted to make both my thesis statements broad enough to allow for a lengthy analysis, yet still specific enough to be beneficial as an analysis. I believe I will have the most difficulty reaching the required length. The rhetorical driven papers I did in high school were all in class; as such, only two hand-written pages were really expected from us. I've never written such an extensive analysis and I hope my thesis's will allow me to do so.

Reflection

I read Isabel and Dylan's thesis statements. 

With my experience in rhetorical analysis (somewhat extensive, as I took a whole class on it in high school), I felt that some of the thesis statements were vague. This may, of course, be because this is after all only the drafting phase. Nonetheless, I find that rhetorical analyses and their effectiveness rely heavily upon a good intro and conclusion. As such, I think it's very important to solidify and start with a strong thesis statement. I found that my thesis statements were somewhat longer than both Isabel and Dylan's. I saw this as a necessity though because a 4 - 5 page paper cannot be based off a single thesis sentence. Overall, I think and hope I'm on the right road to successfully completing this project.